The first thing to go is usually one of the heel caps leaving me with a metal peg at the bottom of the heel.  That tiny piece of black plastic protecting the metal falls off or wears down, and I can be heard tapping around on any hard surface.  I get very self-conscious when only one heel is missing the cap, and I make a tap sound with every other step.  My least favorite is when I make a sliding move causing my metal heel to screech like nails on a chalkboard.

I have taken my precious shoes to the cobbler and had them repaired.  Sometimes I go to payless and buy plain black pumps during a BoGo sale.  This upkeep is maddening.

I’d like to ask my fellow heel-wearing friends: what brand do you turn to for your trusty black pumps and how long do these last?

Exhibit A: the metal peg that will make me tap as I walk

During my junior year of college I was lucky enough to go abroad and study at the Universidad de Granada in Granada, Spain.  The opportunity was one that I knew I would never get again.  The price was right, the curriculum was right and the scholarships were available.  I hoped on a plane, lived with a host family and did a summer semester abroad.  This was truly an amazing opportunity for me and opened a kid from the Midwest’s eyes just a little bit more.  I had a few fellow friends who also studied abroad in the UK, Czech Republic, Italy and Spain so upon our returns after our respective semesters we all had a little bond we could share. 

 During my time in Spain, I was immersed in culture, language, new public transportation systems, and massive backpacks while still living on the college student budget.  I learned a lot about myself, the world and other people during my semester.  I returned to the States hoping I could one day have another global experience.  [Side note:  I have some goals in my closet that I look at every morning; Teach Someone to Read, Live Abroad Again, Visit all Major Continents, Run with the Bulls, Endow a Scholarship at Kansas State (my alma mater),  Obtain an MBA or JD and Work Abroad.]   As I returned to home to the US, I started back to the ways of the typical US citizen- very little global awareness, inability to name foreign leaders, and sole focus on the economy of America.  This is partially my fault but also it is how America and “media America” tends to operate.  We live in a giant US bubble with 2 neighbors that really do not affect us unless you love Montreal (like me) and socialist healthcare or if you are involved with the drug/gun cartel or like to vacation in Puerto Vallarta. 

About the 2^nd week in August, my old manager who is currently a Sr VP of our division called me on my mobile asking me to swing by his office.  As I got off the phone with him I was going thru other e-mails from the morning on my blackberry and saw an e-mail from roughly our divisional CFO asking me to swing by his office as well.  From this e-mail and phone call I knew something was up because why would they both want to talk on a Monday morning?  I quickly dropped in and was presented with the idea of going to China.  When I first heard this I was a little in shock and imagined it was for a few weeks or the like.  But when I asked “For a week or 2?” they quickly replied, “Nope.  Just go there and make some stuff happen.  When you want to come home we’ll get you back but we’d like at least a year.”  I was in shock…and kind of giddy.   But China?  This was something new…and not Western… wow, non Western is kind of a big deal… 

Being in my 20s with no family, but some awesome friends, this was the ideal time to pack up and head west.   My friends have been amazing during this process, while certain family members have other thoughts.  But I look at this as a once in a lifetime opportunity.  China is the last frontier we will see develop.  To be on the ground floor of this amazing growth and explosion of a country is quite unreal.     

So here I am.  I will leave it at that for now and hopefully post again on Trina’s blog as my experiences continue to grow and take place in China with work, people, and my overall thoughts and opinions of China.  In the meantime, find me here.

A Shanghai Photo

Another Photo of Shanghai

In between 6am alarm snoozes, I noticed some new text messages on my iPhone.  They were tweets from my boss (yes, I have my boss’s tweets texted to my phone…) saying that our big company had been acquired by an even bigger company for X amount of dollars.  Now, if that doesn’t make a person wake up, I don’t know what does!!  I fired up my laptop and read the news via email from our CEO, various links on twitter and our official press releases.

As I attempted to wrap my pre-coffee brain around this, I started to go through all the emotions: surprise/shock, anger, fear, acceptance, a glimmer of optimism and hope.  The first images to pop up in my head were similar to the aforementioned ones and were mostly doom and gloom.  That’s when the questions began swirling in my head…

What Does This Mean For Me??

First, my mind was fixated on questions related to, “What does this mean for me??”  Immediately I wanted details on how this would change my world.  I was asking things like: Will my job be eliminated?  Will my benefits change?  Will my salary change?  Will I still work in the same place?  Will I still work for the same person?

After a shower, I realized these questions were completely futile until a few weeks had gone by.  There was truly nothing I could do right at that moment.  I’d done well in my previous role and was showing promise in my new one.  I told myself to have confidence in my performance and know that I deserved to be a part of this gigantic conglomerate.   Positive Note: this even bigger company has operations in way more countries and does all kinds of different things which could mean for incredible job opportunities for me.

What Does This Mean For My Company??

Next, my mind fixated on questions related to, “What does this mean for my company??”  Again I wanted details about things like: Will there be mass layoffs and reorgs?   What will our company’s name be?  Will we get to keep our headquarters building?   Will our founder still be able to come in and eat lunch with everyone????  

As I drove to work, I realized that change in an acquisition is inevitable, but the amount of change in this situation couldn’t be determined until more information is released.  Again, I decided that asking these questions was completely futile at this point in the game. 

Midmorning I went downstairs to watch the companywide call aired on TVs throughout the campus.  The message from our leaders was clear: this is a great opportunity for both companies and we are to carry on like business as usual.  We were acquired not by a competitor but by a company looking to expand their footprint in our market.  By joining forces, we can now better serve our clients and become a global leader in our market.  Positive Note: the potential for innovation in our industry is huge.

I walked away feeling less doom and gloom and more hopeful.  There are going to be growing pains and big changes, but the potential for great things to happen is apparent.  We’ll see where this goes and where I fit in with it…

Acquisition? Let's Shake on That

I want to hear from anyone else who has been part of an acquired company.  Did you have a positive or negative experience?  Did you go through similar emotions?  Did you ask yourself similar questions to me?  Did your leaders assure you things were going to be alright and did they deliver on their words? 

In the past, I had a bully manager and really grappled with it.  I was the only woman his team, and his behavior of talking about how attractive other women were, constantly one-upping everyone (you know, the guy who always has to have the best story), frequently reminding me of “my place” and breeding a boy’s club culture caused me to isolate myself in my cubicle.  After a small depression, I left that situation but was still baffled on how to deal with that type of treatment at work.

Recently, I had a discussion with my friend – we’ll call her Samantha – about a crappy experience she’d had with a leader of our division who has a reputation for being abrasive – we’ll call her Karen.  Samantha was to assist Karen with a client presentation by gathering supplies off Karen’s list.  Sam worked with the division secretary to ensure everything was ready and followed Karen’s list to a T.  The day of the client presentation Samantha lugged a suitcase full of supplies in for Karen.  Instead of doing something productive, Karen berated Samantha for not doing anything right.  It was for really trivial things, like you didn’t print my PowerPoint slides with the notes on the bottom, the name tents don’t say our company’s name on them, you didn’t print the most recent version of the documents (Sam printed the doc she was given), etc.  Karen gave Samantha further verbal abuse while they were editing the presentation together.  I couldn’t help but think, “Wow, Karen is one hell of a bully!”

After Sam told me her story, I began to think of her situation and back to my times with a bully boss.  I started to ask myself a lot of questions.  I know for a fact that Karen is terrible with technology and incapable of doing anything for herself; was Karen just hiding her incompetence with mean words? What is the point of treating Samantha like dog poo when she clearly trying to help?  Could Samantha have stood up to Karen? Why would anyone in a leadership position treat their people this way?  I googled around and found a few things out.

Earlier this year, Forbes wrote an article about powerful corporate bullies and their “bully everyone until their vision is met” strategy for success.  If you weren’t contributing to their vision, you were treated in typical bully fashion.  As their vision is realized, their egos become inflated giving them a serious god complex which can get them into trouble with the law. Some of the most notorious, successful bullies include Vogue’s Anna Wintour, Martha Stewart and Apple’s Steve Jobs.  Forbes said, “Usually their office antics breed resentment, sabotage, “mental health days” and costly turnover”—to this I’d like to add: a “fiction” book about what a bitch you are at work, aka The Devil Wears Prada. 

Bully Leadership

The bullies mentioned by Forbes were hell-bent on leading their companies according to their vision.  Most of the corporate bullies I’ve encountered do not fall into this category; they seem to be spending the majority of the time covering their butts and attempting to make others look incompetent.  Bullyonline.org defines workplace bullying as:

“Bullying is a compulsive need to displace aggression and is achieved by the expression of inadequacy (social, personal, interpersonal, behavioural, professional) by projection of that inadequacy onto others through control and subjugation (criticism, exclusion, isolation etc). Bullying is sustained by abdication of responsibility (denial, counter-accusation, pretence of victimhood) and perpetuated by a climate of fear, ignorance, indifference, silence, denial, disbelief, deception, evasion of accountability, tolerance and reward (eg promotion) for the bully.”

When workplace bullying goes unnoticed (usually the case) it can be very damaging to the recipient.  Workplacebullying.org has a 3-step method for dealing with corporate bullies:

1. Name it and legitimize it – Admit the problem and do not blame yourself, ever.
2. Take care of your physical and mental health to bullyproof yourself – The stress resulting from being bullied is both mentally and physically draining. 
   1. Don’t be afraid to seek help from a professional—trust me (from personal experience).
   2. If you don’t bullyproof yourself, you may crack and snap back at your bully.  Doing this only gives them ammunition against you—trust me.
   3. If it has gotten so bad that you need time off, take it and begin searching for a new job.  Realize this isn’t a sustainable future; something has to give—trust me.
3. Expose the bully – If it has gotten so bad that you are ready to leave your job, it’s time to do some serious talking with your leadership.  Keep it professional and about the business. 
   1. If they side with the bully, then leave.  You’ve done nothing wrong, and you deserve to work in a place that values you and doesn’t harm your health.  Chin up, learn some lessons and kick ass at your next gig.
   2. If your leadership is looking to get rid of the bully, then stay strong because it will be over soon.  You may have ramifications to deal with initially, but the source of your stress will be gone.  Bonus: you’ve got leadership that are keyed in and good at their jobs.

Note: When I left the bully boss, I didn’t sit down with my leadership and explain my reasons for leaving.  I just left because his boss had him on a pedestal—I felt it wasn’t worth a battle.

People may tell you it’s only work and to let it roll of your shoulders, but I can speak from personal experience, it is not quite that simple.   Be strong and remember this is about the other side’s problems.  You can end it, but it’s up to you to be the bigger person. 

I’m happy to say that “Samantha” is no longer working under “Karen”; however, Karen is still highly respected in our division…

Last December, I had lunch with my company’s Chief Medical Officer (CMO).  I was thrilled to meet the new CMO who would be the healthcare thought leader for the healthcare-oriented IT company that pays my salary.  At the time, he offered me a position working for him which my boss, who had just procured me as a young consultant, vetoed.  I agreed with her as I wanted to build my consulting craft.  The opportunity passed by with little sadness, because I knew it wasn’t the right time for it.

A few weeks ago, my boss texted me that the CMO was interested in me working for him again, and she told me to hear him out regarding the opportunity.  At first, I didn’t know what to think.  I’d been in consulting for nearly a year and had made immense progress career-wise.  I was fine with my current role and was committed to finishing out the project I was involved with.  

I heard him out and cautiously considered my options.  My mind was whirling for weeks with detail-oriented questions: 

• Will I ever travel?
• Will I be stuck in a cube again? 
• What will I do every day?
• Will I be miserable? 
• Will I just be a glorified assistant??

That’s when I took a step back and stopped the negativity madness.  I thought of it more in these terms:

• I’ll be gaining amazing exposure to the highest leaders in my company
• I’ll be working for a powerful physician who has been doing great things for our company
• I find my potential new boss funny and relaxed (a critical lesson learned from other bosses)
• Due to his relaxed nature, this job is what I make of it – totally up to ME
• I’m not IN LOVE with my current role—a lot of my tasks are “glorified assistant”-esque anyways
• I’ll be involved with projects around marketing, speaking engagements, his book deal and goodness knows what else
• My life-situation flexibility was something I was so proud of…why not actually use it??
• This is not permanent!

My final, deal-making thought was that I didn’t want this opportunity to slip by…again.  This time it was on my terms and my boss was supportive—how often does that happen?  Sure, it might suck some days and it might be a disaster; however, I wanted this to give this a real chance and explore a different world working with him. 

I finally felt ready to decide and pulled the trigger: I quit freaking out about the details and said yes! 

My advice to anyone in a similar position is to be realistic but give the opportunity a fair chance.  Consider the positives and negatives while listening to your gut.  You have to do what is right for you and live without regrets.  Most importantly, don’t forget how blessed you are to be tossing this around in your head!

Walking Through an Open Door of Opportunity

Most people imagine the life of a travelling associate is a glamorous one.  Although there are perks, it is pretty far from attractive a lot of the time.  Dragging a controversially large carry-on suitcase around an airport at 5:30 on Monday mornings, sitting in an oddly-smelling rental car in Humidville, FL, eating overly-priced, mediocre room service by yourself, working long hours and spending several hours of your week sitting next to strangers on an MD-80 airplane is reality. 

I recently started on a project in South Florida, and it had been awhile since I’d been a road warrior.  I had forgotten some of my strategies for staying organized and keeping my blood pressure down.  I’m sharing some of my tips and tricks to keeping it all together when living on the road, and I’d love for others to share theirs.  This article is all about organized packing.

For me, carrying your bag on is the best way to go.  Many males are probably chuckling and thinking, “Why would you need to check a bag for 4-5 days of travel?”  I can’t exactly explain it, but I always feel the need to be prepared for any situation which causes me to over pack for trips (what if there is a spontaneous cocktail party??? I’ll need a dress!!!).  The reality of this type of travel is that you won’t be in many situations.  You go to work, you go to the gym, you MIGHT get food somewhere after work and you MIGHT go out one night (I never do, but if you are one of the cool kids…).  I rarely do much shopping during business travel, so the extra space isn’t a problem either.

The best way to be prepared and still condense your wardrobe is pack in one color scheme.  Pack your black dress/work shoes, black suit jacket, black suit pants, black suit skirt, one shirt that goes with black for each day of work and make one of the shirts able to transfer from work to play.  I place the minimal amount of jewelry that I will want to coordinate with the packed outfits in a bag and toss that into the suitcase too.  After all that, you just have underwear, workout clothes, sneakers, a pair of jeans/shorts, a pair of flip flops, bathing suit if you sit in the hotel hot tub and a good book.  Bonus: using only one suit is less dry cleaning! 

Also, hotels have a lot of your needs covered.  You don’t need to pack a hair dryer, shampoo, conditioner and soap which means you don’t have to take up space for those in your small suitcase or liquids baggie.  My carry-on suitcase came with a clear, durable, 1-qt bag.  These days it always contains my face wash products, small lotion, small perfume, small toothpaste, small mascara and favorite lip gloss.  I rarely take them out of the bag, and I store it in the uppermost outside zipper on the suitcase (easy to get out at the security checkpoint).  My other hair products and big liquids I just live without for the week on the road.  Do I really need a bottle of volumizing spray? No. 

Also, I keep a makeup bag in my suitcase with non-liquid necessities, such as q-tips, a razor, a tiny sewing kit and deodorant.  I seem to always have extras of those things anyways…  On Monday mornings/Sunday nights, I get ready and throw my tooth brush, hair brush, straightener, thinned out makeup bag (I only need the basics) and phone chargers in my suitcase. 

This may sound like a lot of effort but the organization is worth it, trust me.  When you are able to waltz straight to the security checkpoint, breeze past the people waiting for extended periods at the baggage claims or saunter by those unfortunate travelers at the lost luggage counter, you will be smiling the whole way to your final destination.  I’ve found the minimalist approach to travel can go a long ways.  I went to visit family during a weekend on the road and shocked them by going with one carry-on suitcase for two whole weeks!!!  Granted I was able to do laundry at my brother’s house, but it was still an achievement for me!

Recently, a few posts on Brazen Careerist about work-life balance have caught my attention.  Many people have strong opinions on the matter.  Jake on Jobs is of the “work now, play later” mindset.  He says, “…Work/Life balance is not something 20-somethings should be worried about.  Instead, my suggestion is to work your butt off until you find a job that doesn’t feel like work.” Whereas Jenny Blake talks about looking at your overall quality of life, “…part of the reason I was feeling so tired was that I let work completely take over my life…the more I let things that energize me fall out of my routine, the more tired I become, and the less able I am to perform high-quality work.”  My stance: I don’t think you can get to a place where it doesn’t feel like work unless you have a good quality of life.  In other words, good personal life is complementary to good work life.

Many of us millennials are focusing our twenties on our careers, and I am definitely one of them.  I push myself at work and am looking to grow myself in my free time.  I have designed my lifestyle to be conducive to work my buns off (I wish that were literal…): I live alone, I am far away from my family, I’m educated, I’m single, I have an open schedule and I dress for success every single day (I truly love the way I look in a suit).  However, I’ve realized that focusing my twenties only on work is no way to live.

The job I my company gave me in rural Rhode Island (a place I really didn’t want to be living) was a total wrong fit for me, and I felt my life was hollow.  Work was a mess, and I didn’t have much of a personal life.  I bought 4 (yes, 4) books off Amazon about having a quarter-life crisis and tried desperately to find happiness.  When I finally got transferred to a better job in Dallas (significant upgrade), I vowed that I was going to be happier.  My first priority was to work hard and finally have some success at my job.  I found my groove at work, and the client loved me.  Although it felt good, I wasn’t wholly satisfied.  That was when I decided to shift the focus of my twenties from my career to “me” with career being an integral part of the package.

My free time is precious, and I decided that I needed to use it to treat myself more often.  My logic: if I do things once in a while that make me genuinely happy, I will feel more balanced and more sane; thus, I will become a better worker bee and nicer human being.  Here are some of the things that I do to treat myself: 

• Exercise – It was the first thing that I put back on the schedule.  I put it high on the list, and I have felt healthier since.  Stress was making me sick and tired all the time, and exercise helps to even that out.  Bonus: no pills needed.
• Calling my family – When I have a free moment, I like to call my parents, my grandma or my brother’s family.  Hearing my two-year-old niece’s voice or hearing about my Grandma’s busy social calendar always brightens my spirit.
• Wandering aimlessly around the grocery store – My dad and I used to go the store a lot when I was a little kid, and I love to do it now.  It may be a bit weird to others, but I can stare at food for hours.
• Taking a bath – Again I revert to childhood happiness items: the bath tub.  I have always been a water-loving creature and taking a bath is the business.  You can read, play with toys and do some serious thinking.  Fact: Alan Greenspan did some of his best work in the tub. 
• Jigsaw puzzles – A bit nerdy, yes.  I love ‘em though.  They are mentally stimulating (have to keep that photographic memory running) and tons of fun.  To me, there is nothing better than a pot of strong coffee and a jigsaw puzzle.
• Cooking – I love opening a bottle of wine and whipping up a delicious meal.  You’ve got to eat anyways, so why not make it an enjoyable experience? 
• Watching The Soup on E! – Joel McHale catches me up on all the ridiculous TV that I don’t have time to watch.  Oh, and it’s is absolutely hilarious.  It’s reality show clip time!!!

I think the right approach to your twenties is to figure out what makes you happy.  When you are a happy person, it will reflect in your work.  Since I’ve made an effort to use my free time to treat myself with my favorite activities, I have been performing better at work and getting closer to happy.  Someday my life will have a very different focus and knowing how to keep sane will be a great benefit.