The first thing to go is usually one of the heel caps leaving me with a metal peg at the bottom of the heel.  That tiny piece of black plastic protecting the metal falls off or wears down, and I can be heard tapping around on any hard surface.  I get very self-conscious when only one heel is missing the cap, and I make a tap sound with every other step.  My least favorite is when I make a sliding move causing my metal heel to screech like nails on a chalkboard.

I have taken my precious shoes to the cobbler and had them repaired.  Sometimes I go to payless and buy plain black pumps during a BoGo sale.  This upkeep is maddening.

I’d like to ask my fellow heel-wearing friends: what brand do you turn to for your trusty black pumps and how long do these last?

Exhibit A: the metal peg that will make me tap as I walk

What is fat talk?  The site defines it as:

Fat Talk describes all of the statements made in everyday conversation that reinforce the thin ideal and contribute to women’s dissatisfaction with their bodies. Examples of Fat Talk include: “I’m so fat,” “Do I look fat in this?”, “I need to lose 10 pounds” and “She’s too fat to be wearing that swimsuit.” Statements that are considered Fat Talk don’t necessarily have to be negative; they can seem positive yet reinforce the need to be thin — “You look great! Have you lost weight?”

I am terrible when it comes to fat talk… Like the majority of women, I have body image issues and frequently buy a one-way ticket to negative town.  When I start the down negativity spiral, it really does have an effect on everything in my life.  The other morning my pants were really tight, I got down on myself and it ruined my morning—I know I’m not alone on this kind of morning.

That’s why I’m on board with Fat Talk Free Week and am going to work on promoting a more positive body image:

Fat Talk Free® Week (Oct 19 – 23, 2009) is an international, 5-day public awareness effort to draw attention to body image issues and the damaging impact of the thin ideal on women in society. This 2nd annual nationwide body activism event was borne from Delta Delta Delta’s (Tri Delta’s) body image education and eating disorders prevention program, Reflections: Body Image Program™.

The top 5 ways to promote positive body image:

1. Choose one friend or family member and discuss one thing you each like about yourself.
2. Keep a journal of all the good things your body allows you to do (e.g., sleep well and wake up rested, play tennis, etc.).
3. Pick one friend to make a pact with to avoid Fat Talk. When you catch your friend talking negatively about their body, remind them of the pact.
4. Make a pledge to end complaints about your body, such as “I’m so flat-chested” or “I hate my legs.” When you catch yourself doing this, make a correction by saying something positive about that body part, such as, “I’m so glad my legs got me through soccer practice today.”
5. The next time someone gives you a compliment, rather than objecting (”No, I’m so fat”), practice taking a deep breath and saying “thank you.”

Yesterday, I prevented several fat talk moments and felt better about myself.  However, I let a few negative comments slip, but I corrected them in my head with a positive thought.  The next time I let a fat talk moment happen I have to say the positive comment out loud for reinforcement.

If you would like to learn more or get involved, visit their site and watch this video.  Spread the word!!

Fedora Hat

Apparently fedora hats and Guinness are appealing to foreign men, because it wasn’t long before a few French men were telling me my hat was trouble.  I was soon getting more attention than I had bargained for from a small group of French male travelers—some of which didn’t speak a bit of English…  Of course, Irish Boyfriend wasn’t far from my thoughts.  I rejected the French travelers as politely as possible (which wound up not being very polite as they were rather insistent on swimming in Lindsay and I’s apt pool after hours…), headed home and put the fedora hat in the closet where it belongs.

The next morning I started to think about my sudden popularity with French males.  Was this a new demographic for me?  Naturally, I assumed not.  Was it the hat itself?  Again, I assumed not as it was nothing special from Forever 21.  Was it the Primo’s margaritas??  It was more plausible than the other ideas, but no… That’s when it hit me: it was the strutting, the standing tall, the smile…it was some elusive CONFIDENCE! 

Like most women I know, my confidence ebbs and flows like the tide.  I’ve got days where I am incredibly hard on myself and others where I feel invincible.  Although I’m aware that I’ve got a lot going for me, I tend to forget all of that and replace it with self-loathing.  I spend more time tearing myself down than I do boosting myself up—it’s the reason I need so much external validation.

The night in the above story, my fedora hat didn’t radiate confidence into me.  Rather, I stepped up to the plate and reassured myself that I was amazing from hat to pumps.  I gave myself a big bump of confidence which is apparently attractive to French males (and possibly men in general…).  I’m going to apply this strategy of reinforcing self-assuring thoughts more often, and maybe I’ll get the positive attention I deserve in every situation.  Bonus: I won’t have to annoy people with my, “Do I look OK in this?” routine.  Also, I plan to strut more often.

I'm #1