A Multi-Cultural Wedding Experience: Part 1

American-Nigerian Wedding Reception

There are a few certainties in the summer months: BBQs, blockbuster movies, tan lines, humidity and, of course, weddings.  My earlier Iowan summers were filled with family cookouts at Lake Okoboji, endless days at the city pool achieving horrid tan lines, sticky nights up to no good in tall cornfields and the traditional exchange of nuptials between two Christian Midwesterners.  This summer I’ve managed to take in all the aforementioned certainties in the form of hot dogs, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, wicked Texas-induced tan lines, makeup-melting sweats (myth buster: Dallas has humidity!) and two of the most wonderfully unique weddings I’ve ever attended.

Two August 2009 weekend road trips brought me to steamy Houston, TX for an Americanized Nigerian wedding and a traditional Indian wedding.  I had no idea what to expect other than cake and some shameless dancing where others look on in horror.  I went in with an open mind, and each one presented me with a different perspective on weddings, love, traditions and the union of two people ready to officially start their lives together.

WEDDING #1:

The lovely pair who wed in the Americanized Nigerian wedding are first-generation Nigerians who both work for the same company as me.  I met the couple in Rhode Island and quickly connected with them one night out for coffee on Wickenden Street.  I haven’t had the pleasure of knowing many continental Africans and hearing about their strong Nigerian roots was fascinating to me.  I followed the couple from the Ocean State to the Lone Star State and was elated to celebrate their American wedding with them (their traditional Nigerian wedding was held earlier in the year).

Besides heavy humidity, I wasn’t sure what to expect when my roommate Lindsay and I pulled up to the Catholic Church in the suburbs of Houston.  When I first noticed the traditional Nigerian dresses, hats, headdresses, etc I remember being in awe due to the sheer beauty of the attire.  The headdresses alone were stunning and so wonderfully unlike anything I’d ever seen on a person’s head.  The bride and groom wore traditional westernized wedding garb and looked elated on their big day.  I was so consumed by all the beautiful people around me that I planned to spend the majority of the ceremony analyzing the clothes in the sanctuary.

Women in Traditional Nigerian Clothes at the Reception

I was brought back to the rest of the world by the engaging priest who had a thick yet easily understandable Nigerian accent.  Normally sermons lose me when they talk about scripture, evangelizing, evolution or the need to have God in our lives; however, this priest focused his sermon on life and had my full attention the entire time.  He spoke about his pride in watching the next generation of Nigerians live and make decisions not based on a world of distress but based on their own accord.  The act of engagement and marriage is a point where young Nigerians can fully pour themselves into each other and truly become adults.  His message was one of the best I’ve ever heard at a wedding, and the mentions of the couple needing to have children were delivered more as witty hints rather than a main point.

Lindsay and I headed to the reception, and I was deep in thought about the priest’s message (when I say “deep in thought”, I mean appearing dazed to the rest of the world).  It was in this deep/dazed state that I listened to the breaking of the kola nut ceremony delivered in Igbo by a high-ranking elder in the audience.  Lesson Learned: don’t throw a giant chunk of kola nut in your mouth–eat only a tiny bit of the kola nut at a time because it’s surprisingly bitter and awkward to spit out in front of the Nigerians watching the table of white kids from Dallas.  The food was similarly themed to the rest of the event: a mixture of traditional Nigerian and classic westernized.  The traditional Nigerian food was spicy and delicious, and the cake was amazing (I’m still dreaming of that cake).

Bringing Out the Kola Nuts

Kola Nut Ceremony: Elder Speaking to the Family of the Couple

The rest of the night was filled with traditional music and dancing by different groups in the room.  Money was thrown over the couple to bless them, and they were very blessed by the end of the night!  Of course, some hip hop music was played at the end of the night for the young Americans (the couple are both amazing dancers!).

I was swept away by the Nigerian clothes, music and hospitable crowd willing to share some of their traditions.  Marriage is an important event to Nigerians who celebrate with passionate happiness and hope for the bride and groom.  The blend of Nigerian and American customs was classy, unique and made for one of loveliest weekends in this young former Iowan’s life.

I’ll be posting the second half of this article about the Indian wedding I attended later this week.